What if the thing that you thought was most important….wasn’t? For a very long time now, I’ve let the memories of the last two years hang high in the back of my mind as “The thing that I want back”. But I don’t think it’s that big a deal. Not anymore. Maybe it never was. I mean, I was….16, 17, 18. I’m 19 now, which is no huge difference from 18, but my point still stands. It was a different time. I was different. My thought-process was different. Sadness for prolonged periods of time may be considered a choice. I chose to mope. I have moped for a long, long, long time. But I believe that it’s okay to come from under the self-imposed shame-prison that I placed myself in. There’s a whole world out there.
-Shine on, you Crazy Diamond@18 hours ago
It’s 4:42 in the morning. I just finished watching this indie-film Under The Skin. Scarlett Johansson was in it. I think it was great. I backspaced and erased “good” for “great”. A creepy movie. She was an alien. She was naked.
The movie ended around 3:30, so I guess I’ve been sitting here for an hour, just thinking. Doing nothing. I think a lot. There’s a lot of pressure that I’ve been putting on myself. That’s the usual. I put things off, as if it’s my sole-duty to do so. I think about my life. My past. My friends, who I feel are blind. All but one.
I don’t believe that the friends I have share similar interests anymore. The six of us are darting off into what I believe to be four directions, all of which are very different. I don’t blame them for that. It’s like all things. There is an ending. Or maybe that ending is just the beginning for something else. Something better. Evolution.
It’s 4:54 now.@18 hours ago